Marcus...
Panic started to overwhelm him.
He was foolish to think that traveling through some otherworldly portal would be enough to distance himself from Julian after what Marcus did to his family.
He pulled Thalia along by the hand as all the thoughts of his past raced through his mind. When he gave her a passing glance, he could see the concern and worry on her face as she understood what it meant that he was here, yet she did not look afraid. Not of him, nor of the fact that Julian had come to this world.
Despite all that, Marcus was afraid. He was afraid of how his sister would see him if everything regarding his past were revealed to Thalia. She had already seen him kill people in front of her and it was enough to shock her into back away from him out of fear, even if for a moment. How would she react if she knew everything?
Dammit...
Damn it all.
The stress was starting to get to his head as he started breathing heavier than he needed to...no, he was hyperventilating. His vision started getting fuzzier and he stumbled forward, pressing his arm against a stone wall to balance himself.
"Brother...?" Thalia said to him in a concerned tone.
He turned his head to look at her. There was not an ounce of fear present on her face but rather, a look of wanting to understand what was happening to him. As she looked at his own expression, one that was filled with panic and stress, her eyes widened as she was beginning to grasp what situation he was in.
Something then caught Thalia's attention as she turned around to look behind her and there stood Selene, huffing as she had run the whole way to catch up with them.
In his unstable mindset, Marcus lashed out at her, "What are you doing here? This isn't your concern, so go away."
Selene tilted her head and had an offended look on her face as she said, "Not my concern? Wasn't it part of the agreement that you and I made that if someone were a threat to you and your sister, then I, and the brotherhood alike, would be there to protect you?"
He wasn't thinking rationally as he then said to her, "That was for Kayron and him alone! This man...he doesn't know you. He likely doesn't fear you or even care about you. What good would it to depending on you to protect us from him?"
She snapped back, "Who ever said that my duty was limited to keeping Kayron away?"
He raised his voice at her as he said, "You've done your duty, and fulfilled your obligation already, now stay out of it!"
She shouted back, "I'm not trying to help you out of obligation or any sense of duty, I'm trying to help you because I'm your friend and because I want to!"
Hearing her call herself his friend caused him to pause. He never made any real 'friends' when he was living on Terra because he didn't really trust anyone enough to call them his friend. However, for the time he has spent on Erebus with Selene, she would be the closest thing he had to a friend...No, she's likely become more than that.
Marcus sighed as the stress drained out of him as he said, "Fine...I won't try and stop you. But I still need to prepare for the worst."
As the day started to come to an end, the three of them made their way to Marcus's home and the trip ended up tiring Thalia out so much that the last quarter of the way there, he carried her on his back. By the time they arrived, Thalia looked like she could fall asleep at any moment.
He carried her into his bedroom and tucked her in, to which she fell asleep almost immediately.
He closed the bedroom door after giving her one more look to make sure she was alright and looked at Selene.
She had her arms folded in front of her as she seemed to be waiting for him to explain himself.
"You said that you wanted to help me, right? How do intend to do that with Julian?" he asked.
"First, I need you to explain to me why you're so afraid of him and why you consider him such a threat," she said.
"Its not so much that I consider him to be an actual threat as I don't know how powerful he might be in this world. Its more so that I'm afraid of what he knows and what he might try to leverage against me and my sister," he said and Selene looked confused.
"He knows things about you? What kinds of things?" she asked but he didn't answer. He simply stared at her with a defeated expression as he walked away from her and slumped down on his couch.
She followed him and sat on the opposite side of the couch as she asked again, "Marcus, what does Julian know about you that you consider him so dangerous?"
He let out a long sigh as he said, "Selene...when I tell you this, you have to understand and come to terms with something about me. Compared to you, someone who, while you have killed people in the past, even children, you were never really at fault for it. It was an accident for you. You are genuinely a good person Selene."
He then turned his head as he looked at her before saying, "I, however, am not a good person. When I lived on Terra, I was picked up and raised by a crime boss to kill people for money. Granted, a lot of them were horrible people, criminals and killers alike. Though while I never killed children, I did kill innocent people, some of whom were just doing their jobs. I did all of this because it was the only option I had at the moment to pay to keep me and my sister fed, clothed, and sheltered. I didn't have any alternative at the moment."
As he told her this, her expression did not change. She looked at him with the sole intent to listen and understand him. There was no indication in her eyes, her posture, or her expression that showed that she was judging him. All she was doing was listening.
He continued on as he said, "The first person that I ever killed was when I was twelve years old..."
Ten years ago...
When he was twelve years old, Stefan had hired someone to train him martial arts and close quarters combat as well as to make sure he built up his body to be fit and ready to defend himself. At the same time, he had also hired various tutors to teach Marcus computer science and programming, advanced mathematics like calculus and trigonometry, engineering, and all sorts of other subjects that, ordinarily, a child his age wouldn't be able to learn. However, because of his perfect memory and higher than normal IQ level, he was able to process and learn all of this stuff quite easily. Pair that with his own desire to learn it for the sake of making a modern day replica of an Iron Man suit straight out of the movies and his motivation to learn would catapult him through the subjects with ease. Though it would be a lot closer to an exo-suit than what Tony Stark had built.
Usually whenever he was busy, he would put on cartoons on the TV in his and Thalia's bedroom to keep her busy until he got back but he figured that it probably wasn't healthy for her to be alone at the age she was at. She would be four years old soon but already she was able to talk in complete sentences and was incredibly intelligent. She picked things up almost as fast as he did.
Keeping her cooped up in her room while he was out was not good for her, and so he went looking for daycare centers or somewhere that she could go to socialize with other children and hopefully be kept under better watch. Luckily, he found a flier on Stefan's desk when he visited him that was advertising a daycare program at St. Francis' church. Apparently there was no admission fee as the expenses were covered by the donations that the church received. First thing in the morning, he dropped her off with the other kids and she immediately started talking to them with a cheerful look on her face. Clearly this was what she really needed. He left her to be taken care of and returned back to start his day.
Near the end of the day, he was just now returning from a training lesson in Krav Maga when he approached Stefan to ask him how to make some additional money on top of the allowance that he was given. If he could start work, he could get the funds to pay for his exo-suit project.
The moment he made it into his office however, he found him arguing with a few of his associates. As soon as Marcus stepped in they immediately quieted down and he looked at him with a welcoming expression before saying, “Marcus. Glad you could stop by. What brings you here?”
As he was talking, the other people in the room looked nervous.
“Well, uh… I wanted to ask you if you could give me a way to make some money. I found a project that I’m really interested in and I want some help to start it.”
“Oh yeah? What kind of project?”
“A power suit like Iron Man.”
As soon as he heard Marcus say ‘Iron Man’ he started laughing, but when he saw that Marcus wasn’t joking he coughed to stop himself from chuckling.
“Are you serious? You want to build an Iron Man suit? Do you really think you could pull it off?” he asked.
“No harm in trying right?"
“Yeah I guess so...Hey, before I answer, I need to ask if you have someone watching your sister. Most of my staff is gone for the day so we don't have anyone on hand to keep an eye on her at the moment.”
“Oh uh, yeah I actually left her at this daycare place called St. Francis’.”
“Oh shit...,” said one of Stefan’s associates and Marcus looked at him, confused as to why he had that reaction.
Stefan’s eyes widened slightly but he quickly calmed down so as to not let it show too much as he said, “Both of you, get out. Now.”
The two of them left his office and closed the door behind them leaving Marcus and Stefan alone.
“W-what’s going on?”
When he turned back around, he watched Stefan rub his temples as if trying to massage the stress out of him.
“Marcus, I don’t think you realize the gravity of how much you messed up right now.”
Panic started to seep Marcus's voice as he realized he did something very wrong, “What?! Why? What did I do?”
“Have you ever heard of the man named, Pastor Nathaniel?” Stefan asked him.
As a matter-of-fact, he did meet him and was greeted by him when dropping his little sister off at the church.
“Yeah, I even met him at the church. Why? How do you know him?”
Stefan groaned as he seemingly struggled to bring the words out.
“Look, I’m sure you’re more than smart enough to figure out that we aren’t exactly a group of law-abiding citizens-”
“-That’s not saying much.”
“-but we do keep a little bit of order around here. We get rid of people who could be seriously damaging to our community and offer our protection as a form of currency. Pastor Nathaniel is one of these people we’ve thought to have driven out, but he popped back up again. Only reason he isn’t dead right now is because killing a preacher seems to not be in good taste.”
“Wait what? You guys wanted to kill him? I thought churches were supposed to be good.”
Stefan chuckled darkly as he said, “Whatever Sunday school bullshit that they are shoving down people’s throats is more often just to hide a lot of the horrible things they do behind closed doors. Now the Pastor? He’s one of the most disgusting people to cross our territory.”
“How? What did he do?” Marcus asked with a freaked-out expression.
“Don’t you mean what is he doing? St. Francis is just a front for child sex trafficking.”
His heart sunk in his chest and the blood drained from his face as Marcus stumbled backwards and fell against the wall behind him.
“What...?!” he said with his voice breaking.
He left Thalia in a place with a person like THAT?
“I...I never should have brought her there...”
“Yeah, probably not your greatest decision. Now seeing as you are the one that put her there, you have to be the one that takes care of this issue," he said in a suggestive manner.
Realizing what that meant, he didn't want to go along with it as he refused, “What, you want me to kill him? No. Send someone else to do it. I can't kill another person.”
“You came in here asking me for a way to make money right? You want to make some cash? Go bring back your sister and take care of him while you’re at it.”
“But I…” Marcus stuttered as he looked down at his hands. He didn't want to imagine how they would look covered in another person's blood.
“If you still don’t trust what me, then why don’t you just leave your sister there overnight? Why not let the kind old Pastor look after her personally as he does all the other kids he takes in. Or even better, you could watch to see what he does with them just to try and prove me wrong and that he’s a model man. See if he doesn't snatch up your innocent, adorable little sister and sell her off to a gross rich pedophile who would sooner rape her to death and toss her to the side like a piece of garbage. Kill him, don’t kill him. I don’t really care. Just keep in mind that there aren't a whole lot of services I can offer you at the moment that provide as much money as killing off the trash that litters our streets."
As Marcus was shaking and trying to come to terms with what was being asked of him, Stefan knelt down, placed a switchblade in his hands, and looked him straight in the eyes as he said, "Go grab your sister, get her the fuck away from him, and make sure he never hurts another child again.”
He was breathing heavily and his nerves were screaming at him in fear. He didn’t want to be here and he didn’t want to do what he was about to do but he knew he had to do it.
In his mind, he knew that killing someone was wrong. It was a horrible horrible crime that could not be undone or forgiven for but he knew that it was the only way to keep this pastor from ever hurting another child again.
As he was walking through the halls, as quietly as he could manage, he saw over a dozen children tucked into their small sleeping bags with their backpacks and toys settled next to them.
As he looked into the room he spotted Thalia's long, jet black hair poking out among the other kids. He would come back to get her in a moment.
He had to finish something else first.
His hand squeezed the switchblade that Stefan had given him tightly in his hands and headed over to the pastor's personal room. As he stepped inside, he removed the lightbulb and replaced it with a damaged one that couldn't light anymore. After he did that, he then hid away in a corner of the dark room with the knife clutched to his chest and waited for the pastor to come across his room realizing that the door was left open.
It didn't take very long for Pastor Nathaniel to walk into the hallway as he said, "I could have sworn I heard...I didn't leave the door open, did I?"
As he stepped inside, he tried to flip the light switch but cursed as he realized the bulb was shot.
"Damn. I could have sworn that I just changed the bulb last week," he said as he pulled a chair under the light bulb to change it.
Taking this opportunity, he rushed out from where he was hiding and slashed open the paster's Achilles tendon on his left leg and the pastor made a strained shout of pain as he fell off of the chair.
Marcus then lunged forward and tried to stab Pastor Nathaniel in his head but was pushed back as the old pastor brought his other foot up and kicked Marcus in the chest sending him away. He slammed into the desk behind him and the switchblade fell out of his hand. It was too dark to see as his hand failed to feel for it.
"You little shit! Look at what you did to me!" the pastor cursed as he limped in pain towards Marcus, reaching out his hands to try and strangle him.
Rather than dodge to the side or run away, Marcus jabbed a cupped hand into the pastor's throat as hard as he could to knock the air out of him and make it difficult for him to breathe or call for help.
The pastor clawed at his throat for a moment before adrenaline and fear kicked in as he lunged at Marcus with his outstretched hands.
His wrinkled fingers wrapped around Marcus’s throat tightly and he could feel the air being cut off from his lungs as body was slammed up against the desk behind him. Marcus tried to pull himself away but the pastor was much stronger than he was as his body was lifted off the ground and he was slammed into the bookshelf standing against the opposite wall.
In the corner of his eye, Marcus noticed a picture frame hanging from a wall next to the bookshelf and slammed his fist into it. It shattered instantly when he smashed it and his fingers fumbled clumsily for a shard of glass but he managed to grab the largest one and slammed it into the pastor’s neck. The pastor’s eyes widened in surprise and let go of Marcus’s neck with one of his hands as he tried to reach forward to pull out the glass but before his hands could reach it, Marcus quickly pulled back his arm and punched the piece of broken glass, forcing it deeper into the pastor’s neck so that it couldn’t be pulled out.
Blood seeped out from his neck and from in between his fingers as he clutched his through with his right hand and grabbed Marcus’s throat with his left hand. With only one hand all he could do was keep him pinned up against the bookshelf as he also tried to keep himself from bleeding out from his throat. However, the glass seemed to have punctured through his windpipe as well as the blood seeped from the corners of his mouth and he began to choke. Spit and blood flung from his mouth and landed on Marcus’s face as he looked at the dying pastor with fear.
The pastor continued to struggle for nearly a minute before his strength faded and he slumped down to his knees and blood continued to burst from his throat. His head fell forward and rested on Marcus’s right leg.
Marcus began to breathe rapidly in fear of what he had done as he pushed the pastor’s dead body off of him and looked down at his hands. His hands, wrists, and arms were drenched in blood and his shirt was stained with it.
Without a second thought, Marcus began collecting any piece of evidence that might have his prints on it and wiped down any areas with Clorox wipes to not leave a single trace of him.
With the dead of night keeping him mostly hidden from being spotted, he wrapped up his little sister in blankets and carried her home safe and sound. She wasn’t hurt in any way and it didn’t seem like anything had been done to her beforehand either. The moment he was welcomed back into the Romano household the maid looked into his eyes and backed away very slowly upon seeing the blood and haunted look in his eyes.
Everyone he walked past avoided him, not out of fear but more out of shock. They didn't dare try to get in his way.
He then carried Thalia, asleep in his arms, and gently laid her in bed. The moment he tried to lift the layers of blankets over her she opened her eyes, looked at him and said, “Brother? What’s wrong?”
He took in a sharp breath and said, “Nothing’s wrong. Just head to be for now okay?”
“But you look scared,” she said, trying the blink the sleep out of her eyes but failing.
“I’m fine Thalia. Trust me, everything is gonna be just fine.”
Thalia looked at him for a few seconds before closing her eyes and breathing out saying, “Okay. I love you brother.”
“Good night. I love you too.”
He turned on the night light to her room and closed the door to her room.
He made it halfway down the hallway before he collapsed to the ground and stared at his own hands. He found out that he didn’t clean his hands well enough before he left St. Francis’ and he noticed his shirt was still soaked. He tore off his shirt and ran to the bathroom. He started to wash his hands but then found that his chest was filthy too and so were parts of his neck.
They were filthy with the pastor’s blood from when he jammed a shard of glass into his throat and watched him bleed to death.
Stefan made him jump as spoke up from in the doorway of the bathroom, “So. I guess things didn’t turn out the way you thought huh?”
Then he took a good long look at Marcus and the amount of blood all over him and his face changed from smug to shock as he asked, “Holy shit Marcus... What the hell did you do to him?”
Still shaking, he replied, “I-I only did what you told me to do... You asked me to get rid of him and I did... Are you happy?”
Stefan said nothing but his eyes were mildly impressed.
Selene, Now...
Hearing what Marcus had told her, Selene too, was in shock at hearing his story. She was in shock at hearing the graphic details of how he was forced to kill a man to keep his sister from being taken from him for good and used in such horrible ways.
However...what she was more in shock over was how guilty and broken Marcus looked when he told her.
It was more than clear to her that he did what he did to protect her, as gruesomely as he did, he did it for Thalia's safety. Despite this, he viewed himself as a bad person, as evil.
"Julian knows about my past working for his father as his own personal hitman. That and so much more... I don't want to be the kind of person that Thalia would look at as someone to be afraid of. I want to be someone that she can be proud of but I can't. I burnt that bridge years ago and you want to know the really messed up part?" he asked her.
In a soft tone, she said, "Tell me."
"Most career criminals, even killers, after they do their crimes long enough, they start to feel numb to it. They do it almost impulsively. Some even find enjoyment in what they do whether its stealing from others to make them feel miserable or killing and torturing others to enjoy the looks of pain that others get out of it. With me though...I never got any of that. I never managed to feel numb after every person I killed. Every death always felt like the first time I killed that pastor regardless of how many times I tried to come up with ways to cope with it. I had to kill people for years until eventually, I had enough. I had enough and eventually I...I snapped. I snapped so hard and fast that I ended up slaughtering everyone who was ever involved with the criminal empire that I had helped build, including Julian's father, the one who took me in and raised me like his own son. I killed him too, with my bare hands. I killed them all, using methods so dark and horrible and brutal and inhumane to make everyone so afraid of me that none of them would dare encroach upon my territory or threaten my last remaining family ever again," he said, his voice shaking.
He then asked her, "Can you imagine how my sister, the only family I have left, might view me after learning about all of that? I can't allow any of it to happen."
After listening to his story she remained quiet. She wasn't sure what to say right away that might put him at ease.
He then asked her, "After telling you my story, are you satisfied or are you horrified?"
"I...I can't really say that I'm either of the two but...Marcus, I don't consider you to be a bad person," she said honestly.
His head snapped up to look at her in disbelief at her words.
"How...how can you even say that? After hearing of what I've done, can you really say that and believe it?" he asked her.
"I believe that you were given an impossible choice in that moment, forced into a scenario by someone who wanted to use you for their own ends, and made to do something that you would not have otherwise done unless something truly horrible were to have happened to your family. Then, after you had committed to it, it was expected of you to keep killing people for money until it became normal for you and you could not refuse it any further. You did what you had to do because it was all you could do at the time," she said in an attempt to calm him down and reason with him.
"Selene...I can't...I can't accept that. What you're saying...you are contradicting yourself," he said to her, which confused her.
"I am? Tell me how?"
"When I faked Artemis's death and didn't tell you about it, you reacted with such anger towards me over it that you were willing to kill me over it. Also, even after it was shown that I had faked her death and we found that it was Jiroh that was responsible for all those missing people and deaths, you were hesitant to kill him. Can you explain to me why you changed your mindset?" he asked.
"Ah...I hesitated to put my trust in you then because...because of my own self doubts and the fear I had of others being even more afraid and hateful towards me. Even after Jiroh had died...I was still afraid of what people might think of me. Even after finding out that my armor couldn't be fixed, I thought that I would never be able to return to my normal life. However, you made me a new set of armor to help me control my strength and give me confidence in myself again so that I wouldn't have to worry about people being afraid of me. Thalia as well, when I was hiding in an alley because my flames were going out of control, she walked towards me and ignored them. She wasn't afraid of me. The two of you weren't afraid of me, so I decided not to worry as much and place my trust in you. I told you my story and you accepted me regardless of it. Now that you told me your story...," she said as she reached out her hand and held Marcus's own in hers as she continued, "I am accepting you regardless of your past."
Marcus was silent as he looked into her eyes and seemingly tried to understand why she was deciding to accept him but decided not to question it.
She then chimed in, "Also, you shouldn't forget that many of this world's greatest heroes, including the woman Moyako that you met, have likely killed way more people than you have and yet people love her. As far as I'm concerned, I think that you are still a good person."
Marcus then looked down at the floor and gave one long shuddered sigh, as if breathing out all the stress and fear in his mind in one go.
He then looked her in the eyes with true gratitude and said, "Thank you, Selene."